Friday, July 27, 2007

We survived

We made it. We managed to not only make it through our first week of school but also enjoyed it. I feel a bit guilty that I like going to work, but I get to talk to adults other than DH. I get to do more than laundry, dishes and change diapers. To be honest, my 6 weeks home have given me an increased appreciation for what stay at home moms do.
I would love to be able to spend all of my time with Miss C but I can't, my career will not allow it. I don't mean that if I did I wouldn't succeed, I mean I literally am not permitted due to my obligations to the military. Because of this, I have been forced to send Miss C to school/day care earlier than I would like and get back in the swing of things. Having worked this week, I don't know how I could handle staying at home.
Its kind of confusing. I love Miss C. I am so overwhelmed by her. Everyday she changes and grows. I am astounded by how much more aware and able she is each time we play together. As you can see by the picture, Miss C has experienced a very tough week of playing, learning and growing (pretty sure she is in the midst of a growth spurt!) and is exhausted!
Next week will be yet another learning experience for all of us. DH has a trip coming up and will have to miss a couple of weeks with Miss C. I promised to take loads of pictures and videos but I have to admit, I would hate to lose that much time, especially this early. I will also be spending this time with Miss C by myself until Alphagal and company arrive to visit.
This time with Miss C has given me a greater appreciation for everything service members with children endure during deployments. The first time I spent more than 2 hours apart from her (that would be earlier this week, Tuesday, when I took her to day care for the first time), I swore my heart was going to break in two. I wanted to turn around and "rescue" my poor baby. Through out the course of this week, i have seen that the folks at school really do enjoy their jobs, they take great care of the kids including Miss C and its a very safe place for her to spend some time during the day. I was concerned that she would be relegated to a crib but I chose wisely and she gets boppy time, tummy time, lots of conversation and stimulation and cuddling by as many of the staff as can get a chance to visit. I am relieved.
I have deployed for the last 14 years and spent many years apart from DH. While being away from him and other family and friends has been tough, I can't imagine not being here to kiss Miss C good night or not to hold her and soothe her when she gets scared. This is definitely a new experience! (Oh yea, Miss C is 7 weeks old tomorrow, for those keeping track! Has it been that long? OMG, she has changed so much already!)


Cat said...

Congratulations on making it through the week- that's the hardest part of daycare. It sounds like she had a blast and the teachers are madly in love with her.

I know what you mean about work and mommyhood-- staying home with a baby is SO MUCH tougher than people realize, and I don't think I could enjoy doing it. At the same time, I can't imagine leaving e for weeks or months at a time- I'd crush into a million pieces.

Let's hope your next deployment isn't for a loooong tiiiime.

LizardBreath said...

I plan on keeping taking Miss C in for a few hours a day even when I am on leave (except for her long weekend when you all come visit) to keep both of us used to it.
I feel bad for DH already since we know he will have to do some short deployments when we transfer. I know he is going to miss C terribly but we both know it is part of the job. Luckily the internet and email do exist, even when we are deployed so at the very least, we have photos and emails.
I swear, Miss C is literally growing before our eyes. She ate, played and slept her way through today with such enthusiasm and energy! I can only imagine what tomorrow will bring!

AmazonQueen said...

I am so proud of both of you!! She has gotten SO big and even more beautiful.

LizardBreath said...

Thanks so much! She is awesome! Now if only I can become SO small! ;-)